How to sober up
So you’ve had too much to drink? It’s okay, it happens. Let’s talk about how to fix it.
Eat something
Yeah, of course. You know that. But what?? Well, that depends on where you are in your drinking journey today.
what should i eat before i’m drunk?
The best time to control how drunk you are is before you start drinking. If you know that you’re going somewhere where you want to drink a lot of alcohol for a long amount of time, start eating early. Have a decent lunch that day, even if you don’t normally. Eat a real dinner before you begin drinking.
Heavy foods like Burgers, Pizza, and potatoes are the best for this heavy duty work. They have a lot of starches so they fill up the stomach and absorb alcohol well. Chicken and Salad are delicious but they just don’t hold up for this job.
what should i eat while i’m drinking?
Getting your snack on while you drink is a great way to maintain your preferred ‘drunkenness level’. Once again starchy and calorie dense foods are helpful. Chips, Veggies, French Fries, bread, hand/tea sandwiches. Something you can munch between sentences.
So far, we’ve mostly just given you the menu from every bar everywhere. I will put in a word of warning about greasiness. It’s tempting to get foods like potato skins, mozzarella sticks, and assorted other fried foods. Sometimes they are even good! But they often have a ton of grease that will not help you later in the night. You are already getting drunk enough to vomit or spend too much time on the toilet, don’t add to your troubles.
what should i eat after i’m too drunk?
Unfortunately, with all the prep in the world, sometimes we just still have too much to drink. At this point, it’s best to get simple. Really, really simple. My go-to ‘too drunk’ foods are as follows:
Ramen
Salty Broth helps restore electrolytes
Peanut Butter Toast
Peanut Butter has protein and the bread is absorbent. It’s also one of the best foods to throw up if you do
Plain Saltines/Ritz Crackers
Plain, easy to get down slowly if you’re nauseous
Fried Potatoes
Simple, filling, starchy
Drink something
Pictured: A Good Start
Isn’t that what got you in this pickle? Just kidding, we all know what I mean.
what should i Drink before i’m drunk?
Water Water Water Water Water. Seriously, drink some water. Yeah, being hydrated before you start drinking is important. More importantly though, if you are thirsty when you start drinking, you’ll drink too much. Your body is sending signals that it needs more liquid and you’re going to drink the liquid in front of you as if it were water. That means that your first round or two will be gone before you know it. Save yourself some money, drink at least one full glass of water before you even start drinking alcohol.
what should i Drink While i’m drinking?
If we were all being good, responsible kids, the answer would be water again. But we know that’s not happening. I go into more detail in the link below, but basically, try to have one Non-Alcoholic Drink for each regular drink you have. Water, Soda, Juice, N/A Beer, Virgin Cocktail, whatever. It will keep the party going as well as keep you from getting too drunk too fast. Just not energy drinks. Limit yourself to one of those per night.
How to Drink Safely - Chapter 1 of How to Be 21
what should i Drink after i’m too drunk?
So you didn’t listen to any of the other advice and now you’re here. Well, there’s only so much these will help. Water is useful, but at this point you really need electrolytes. Personally, I like the DripDrop brand of powdered electrolyte, but anything will do. Other powdered brands, Gatorade, Powerade, even some water brands. I recommend at least one full (16oz) bottle of whatever you’ve chosen. As Gatorade and Powerade come in larger sizes, you can drink half before bed and half when you get up. Of course, then we are getting into Hangover Cures, which is a different post!
Do something
pictured: intense physical activity
If you had a breathalyzer and blew a 0.08, you couldn’t do a bunch of pushups and then blow a 0.04. A lot of people believe that physical activity will ‘burn off’ the alcohol leaving you more sober. That’s not totally true. While that works a little bit, it’s more that you drink less and practice hand eye coordination more if you’re staying active. When you are sitting at a table talking, you are more likely to just have one drink after another without stopping to consider how drunk you are. Compare that to someone who is standing up and moving around to play pool or darts or just mingle. Players will drink more slowly and they will notice their own lack of coordination long before the sitter does.
If you are already too drunk and hoping the movement will sober you up, it’s more accurate to say that you are ‘recalibrating’ your own body. By moving around you are giving your brain time to see where it’s orders and your bodies response don’t line up. It also gives your body time to process while you distract yourself. You could sit and be miserable and dizzy for half an hour, or you could go for a little walk for half an hour. Your Blood Alcohol Content will have gone down the same amount due to the half hour, but you’ll feel much better after the walk because it was a better way to spend half an hour.
Wait
Finally, the real answer, time. You become 'less drunk’ as your liver absorbs and breaks down the alcohol in your body. It takes time. There is no way to speed up liver function and if you think there is, you shouldn’t do it. Livers are sensitive, don’t mess with them.
If, for whatever reason, you are being chemically tested for alcohol, you should not drink any alcohol for 72 hours ahead of time. If that sounds impossible, please take a closer look at your life. It is very possible and completely normal. Sometimes inconvenient but if you cannot do that, you may need help.
If you are expected to perform delicate or dangerous work, I would recommend not drinking for at least 8 hours before hand and not getting Drunk for at least 12-18. Don’t know what counts as Drunk? Check out this Post over here. I don’t want my fighter pilots fighting off hangovers please.
If you just want to know how long it takes to sober up? Depends on how much you drank. If you didn’t get past Buzzed, 2 hours should be plenty to be effectively sober again. If you made it to Drunk, probably about 4 hours. And finally, if you got Wasted? 8 hours or more. There’s a reason party people still wake up drunk the next day.
That’s it for us today! If you want to learn more, check out the blog posts below or head over to Patreon for exclusive content and the ability to send me questions and ideas for posts! Keep an eye out for How to Be 21, to be published in 2027!
